Whilst it’s no small feat to turn a woman on particularly at certain times of the month, turning her off on the other hand is a piece of cake. Here are some things that you should definitely avoid if you intend to play hide the sausage with your partner on more than just your birthday and Christmas.
1. Lack of personal hygiene.
Ok guys, listen up.The general rule is if you sweat that day then chances are you stink and need a wash, simple. If you want her to get naked with you, you better be taking care of the basics…
- Brush your teeth often i.e twice everyday, morning and night.
- Keep your fingernails and toenails clean and trimmed
- Trim hairs growing out of your nose and ears
- Trim your pubs, you don’t have to get a wax but a little trim now and again to tidy it up.
- Wear clean and appropriately fitting clothing
- Come to bed smelling at least clean and maybe even with a LITTLE cologne on
- And last but not least please change your underwear daily even if it smells alright to you, it probably doesn’t to her.
However don’t just pay attention to personal hygiene when you want sex. That could just compound it all as a big turn off.
2. Looking at porn
Women hate it when their husbands look at porn. Any woman who says she “doesn’t mind” or that she “likes it” is lying or in denial. (Of course there are exceptions, especially this day and age and some women may well be into porn.) If and when you as a husband gaze upon the pornographic images of women and/or anyone in a sexually charged situation, it devalues your wife. She feels alone and like she doesn’t measure up.
She might even be disgusted and view what you’ve done as infidelity, even if she won’t come right out and say it.
Pornography in any form (on your phone, tablet, computer, television, DVDs, magazines) diminishes and ultimately destroys any hope of authentic and profound sexual intimacy with your partner. Same goes with visiting strip clubs or “adult entertainment” venues with scantily-clad waitresses or dancers.
You can’t have it both ways. You can’t have phenomenal sex with the woman you are in a relationship with AND simultaneously feed your porn habit. You. Can’t. Do. It. Any sex you have with your partner is going to be mediocre at best and non-existent at worst.
I would have suggested making a video of you and your partner but nowadays that’s very dicey and a big no no unless you wouldn’t mind if someone posted it on the internet for the world to see. in which case carry on.
3. Wanting someone to join the two of you in bed.
I know some of you may think it is outlandish that I would even suggest there are husbands requesting this sort of thing, but it does happen. I personally know wives whose husbands have thought it “completely reasonable” that they invite another woman (or, in some cases, another man) into their bed.
Sometimes, the husband wants a threesome. Sometimes he just wants to watch his wife sexually with another person.
Some husbands will go to great lengths to make such a request more palatable, but mark my words, your wife doesn’t want to do it. Same goes for spouse swapping or anything else along those lines.
And if she does agree to do it, that doesn’t make it right and it doesn’t mean she likes the idea. More than likely what it means is she sees no other alternatives to salvaging her marriage with you.
Don’t put her in any position where she has to compromise her values (or yours).
4. Neglecting her emotionally.
I know this is an often over-generalised point: Women need emotional connection to feel loved and guys need physical connection to feel loved. Maybe a better way to state it is that a relationship void of emotional and physical intimacy will be prone to big chasms of distance, contempt and obligatory sex. She’ll do it. But she’ll be doing it out of duty, rather than out of feeling profoundly connected to you. This isn’t about bartering for sex or setting up patterns in your relationship where the mindset is “I’ll do this for you, if you do this for me.” Rather, it’s about recognising that there are no short cuts to authentic relationship. Fabulously delightful sex is the result of two people who have built a fabulously intimate friendship.
5. Don’t be in it to win it.
When sex is just about your own personal pleasure and you are only “in it to win it” for yourself, she will continue to see sex as a chore to just check off her list. “Get in, get done and let’s move on” will be the lens through which she looks.
She may even fake orgasm to either protect your ego or to just bring a quick resolution to the whole ordeal. Be patient and become a student of your wife’s body and never stop learning what it will take to please her sexually. Encourage her to tell you and show you what it will take for her to climax.
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